Being an adult is having the money to buy the toys you wanted as a kid but spending it on stuff like detergent
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Date someone you can have rough sex and deep conversations with whether it be at 2 am or 2 pm.
Anon (via its-somuch-colder)
The ultimate revenge on Santa for giving you coal is to burn it and melt the the ice caps.
I hate it when microwave meals say things like “delectable” and “exquisite” on the packaging. I’m eating radioactive garbage just let me live
The real gag will be tumblr doing all this and still not getting back on the App Store
